


Lose and Find

by AshMish111



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Drabble Collection, Drabble Sequence, Eventual Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Sad Sesshomaru, Soft Sesshomaru
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 48
Words: 11,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24654181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshMish111/pseuds/AshMish111
Summary: Much like a stone on the shore, the endless tides of time and loss are enough to soften any sharp edges. Adrift in this relentless push and pull, perhaps all Sesshoumaru needs is a soft place to land. SessKag drabble series
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/Sesshoumaru
Comments: 39
Kudos: 101





	1. Chapter 1

Sesshoumaru straightened the folds of his clothing and removed Baksaiga from its place at his side, leaving only the comforting weight of tenseiga laying against his thigh.

He looked over himself in the reflecting glass, face stoic as ever and aura repressed. He would give away none of his roiling emotions, as that would he below his station.

He had a duty, and he would fulfill it.

He didn't have to like it.

He didn't have to like _her_.

He exited his chambers and went to meet his bride.

She was a demoness of immaculate breeding, and possessed a manner that was largely inoffensive. With gleaming cerulean hair and sparkling green eyes, she was certainly strikingly beautiful. But she held no interest to him. She was a political arrangement for an heir and an alliance with the East.

He felt trapped and cornered and ready to lash out, but he was honor bound, and would walk into this duty much as all the others. He would be in control. He would be serene. He would be every inch the terrible, powerful lord he'd been raised to be.

Never before had that mantle weighed so much.

He stared blankly into the viridian eyes of his new bride as he was joined with her till death and finally realized just how far out his release from life would be.


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes he walked here when he needed to clear his head. The sweet perfume of the flowers was strong to his sharp senses and it fogged his head and helped him forget, even for a moment.

He'd had this garden built for Rin once all the nonsense with Naraku and the Jewel had ended and she'd lived among humans long enough to honestly choose a life at his side.

As he'd predicted, she'd chosen her Sesshoumaru-sama and as she'd skipped through the halls of his shiro and risen her sweet, high voice in childish songs, she'd filled his home with a light it hadn't known in... well, ever.

To publicly claim her as daughter would have been a political disaster, but it was no less true and so he aimed to make it clear to her in what subtle ways he could.

As always, she understood him better than any other ever had, and had taken to calling him _papa_ when no other ears were around to hear. He'd place his hand atop her head and she would beam at him and dash off to find some mischief to get up to.

As is typical of humans, she grew before his very eyes. She attracted the attentions of the youngest son of a local human lord who asked for her hand. Her eyes pleaded and so he relented.

She married. She lived. And then she was gone.

She left him many, many human grandchildren and great grandchildren. They were all gone now, as well.

His ears picked up the sound of his wife's balcony doors sliding open. He quickly turned away and made for his own chambers , intent on being alone.


	3. Chapter 3

Sometimes he visited his brother. The first time he found Inuyasha after the war with Naraku he'd been draped over a well and he'd wreaked of misery. He decided that he was in no mood to deal with his brother's odd human behaviors and made his leave.

The second time, Inuyasha rushed out swinging tessaiga and screaming profanities. He'd simply cocked a brow and waited for his brother to remember himself.

"KEH! Don't be blowin' in here unannounced! Sango's givin' birth and an aura as strong as yours has got us all stressed out."

Ah. So the slayer was making that gross monk a father at last.

"So what brings you _her_ e? That runt of yours? She's helping Kaede with the birth."

Sesshoumaru blinked and Inuyasha scoffed at turned away.

"I ain't got time to be deciphering all the weird ways you talk without talkin.' I gotta keep Miroku from tearin' all his hair out."

He settled in to wait for Rin to complete her duties, and very silently, very secretly thanked the gods he'd managed to let go of his animosity towards his last remaining family member.


	4. Chapter 4

Once Rin had come to live with him, he'd had no true reason to return to that village, so some years passed before he'd made the trip again.

Rin had been gone for nearly two decades, and he remembered that the only other members of his brother's pack were human as well, and most assuredly long gone.

He found Inuyasha draped over that well again, but this time, guilt mixed thickly with the sadness that drowned his scent.

He sat with his back against the wooden structure, reclining regally with one arm draped over one raised knee.

He sat silently until his brother finally heaved himself back over the edge of the well and plopped heavily down beside him.

"I'm getting old. Being pinned to that tree stopped things for a while, but now... I'm getting old."

"Hn." He could see the maturity that now lines his brother's features. Boyish scowls and puppy ears had chiseled out into the sharper angles of adulthood. He thought _old_ was a generous description. Inuyasha was certainly old- _er_.

"I was going to wait. I was going to meet up with her again. I don't think I'll live that long, now."

Sesshoumaru felt his brow furrow slightly. _'Wait for her? Wait for who? Ah yes, the miko.'_

Kagome had been her name. Rin had spoken of her. She'd been the miko who purified that cursed jewel. He thought he could recall _something_ between she and his brother.

"I never told her ya know? How much she meant to me at the end."

He could suddenly feel his brother's gaze and he met it. He looked so much like their father.

"Will you tell her? You'll make it. You don't look no different now than you did then."

"You're dramatics are unnecessary brother. You are hardly an old man on his deathbed."

"No, not yet. But I've still got nearly 400 years left to get to her. And then there's Kimiko..."

And suddenly he could smell the scent of this other woman. Faint but there. His brother had kept his distance from her somewhat.

"So you wish to take a different mate."

His brother smiled sadly and huffed out a humorless laugh.

"She makes me happy. I haven't been happy since... since Sango finally left to follow that damn monk."

"Take your mate, Inuyasha. I don't remember much about your strange miko, but she was selfless, was she not?"

"She was. She always was. And I'm just a selfish bastard."


	5. Chapter 5

He made a point of visiting here and there over the years. The next time he made an appearance, Inuyasha had two small children following after him. They both had his ears and the golden eyes of their shared blood, though only one had their silver hair.

He greeted his twin niece and nephew and accepted them all into his pack and into his protection. They stared with wide eyes and he smiled despite himself.

Only a quarter youkai, yet they were most assuredly not human. His father's blood bred strong even so diluted with humanity.

He met his brother's eyes and took note of the peace found there. He remembered how stricken his eyes had always looked in all of their encounters. How knowing that weird miko had begun softening them.

He was glad Inuyasha had found away to full peace.

He was sorry he'd ever been one of the reasons it had evaded him.

He would never say that out loud.

The children went off to play with their mother, giggling and skipping and he remembered Rin and his heart ached.

He also remembered another duty he'd been shamefully putting aside.

He returned home and rifled through the stack of treaty prospects in his study. He picked the most advantageous.

She would arrive.

He would marry her.

He would be done with it.


	6. Chapter 6

It was only a few moon cycles after that silent, shackling wedding that he got word that his wife was expecting.

He would have been able to tell by scent, of course, if he'd cared to spend any time around her. But he did not. To her credit, she made no designs on _him_ either. They both understood what this whole sham was about, and neither desired to try to make more of it than what it was. She was happy to live a life of luxury in the comfort of his shiro for the small price of an heir, and he was content to leave her alone and pretend she didn't exist.

Still, a pregnancy didn't mean an _heir._ The pup could be a girl. He was not out of the woods yet.


	7. Chapter 7

He looked like his mother.

His hair was blue and his eyes were green, but power thrummed around him and he was strong and Sesshoumaru was pleased.

He was a worthy heir. He would only grow more powerful, and he would have all the cunning intelligence of his forefathers. Sesshoumaru felt affection and protection rise up in him, as well as an overwhelming relief that this duty was done.

He would not poke too closely at that particular edge to his emotions. He would love and guide his heir and son and cherish him always, but his wife was colder than he had ever been accused of being and knowing their arrangement could be a marriage in name only now was a weight off his burdened shoulders.

The nursemaid knocked gently on the nursery door, and he passed his bundle over to her and took his leave. His wife would not be caring for the new pup, of course. She'd never had any interest in that. It was no different than how his own mother had acted towards him.

A vow grew in his heart to make more time for his son than his father had made for him.

He would not grow up feeling adrift and distant from _both_ of his parents.


	8. Chapter 8

While he presented wholly as the earth elemental that his mother was, he had the fangs, claws and impish nature of any inu pup.

Sesshoumaru only scolded his heir half so often as he himself had been. With two parents seemingly unable to express anything outside of ice and rage, he hoped to foster _some_ kind of lightness or warmth in his only child.

He took him to meet his uncle when he was old enough.

Perhaps he'd had more children that would make suitable playmates.

He wished Rin was around to play Big Sister. Or that fox kit, who was no doubt well on his way to adulthood.

Inuyasha tried to hide is confusion when he showed up with a child the color of the earth and claimed him as his heir. He greeted the boy gruffly but pleasantly and then the youngest children drug him away to teach him some game they played with the human children of the village.

"He don't look nothin' like you."

"Hn."

"You've never brought his mother around."

"She is a convenient political arrangement. She has very little to do with either of us. He resembles her."

"That sounds lonely as hell."

He said nothing.

It was simply the burden of a lord.

 _Love_ was not written into his duties, into his birthright.

The want of it had destroyed his father and torn a great rent between he and his only sibling.

"It could be worse."

He didn't realize he'd even said anything until Inuyasha swung surprised eyes on him.

He met them and knew that Inuyasha understood.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Accidentally added chapters 7 and 8 twice so they have been deleted and then REAL chapters 9 and 10 are being added instead. Sorry for the confusion, I’ll avoid updating before I have my morning caffeine lmao

A handful of decades later he lost his wife.

She'd been traveling to visit her family. Her sister was newly mated and it was customary for those in her Earth clan to celebrate when one found their mate.

It was a rare occurrence for any youkai.

But she'd never arrived.

A pack of traveling miko had attacked and overwhelmed her and there had been too many for her to fight off.

Earth youkai we're not known for their prowess in battle.

Her father had taken his revenge and then that had been that.

He felt a bit hollow at the loss.

He'd never held any sort of affection or attachment to his wife. They were married by law and name only, and she was distant and cool and wanted nothing to do with the trappings of marital bliss. She was content with luxury. But he felt like he should feel _something_ at her passing and he didn't and it made him uncomfortable.

He settled on being grateful for his heir and the light feeling of freedom he now possessed.

Though he tried not to poke too closely at that edge to his emotions.


	10. Chapter 10

Another handful of decades and he lost his son.

He was old enough to venture out alone and, though it made him apprehensive, Sesshoumaru couldn't deny his heir the chance to explore.

He had both the nature of earth _and_ his Inu blood pushing him to be one with the free world around him.

He'd done his best to teach his son all he knew about battle and survival.

It had not been enough.

The monks and miko and even samurai were growing restless with living under the rule of youkai, and they were making moves.

His beloved son had gotten caught in the cross hairs.

He felt a great piece of his heart die.

He locked it away.

He visited his younger brother, who looked much older than he did now. Inuyasha sat silently with him for a while.

"He was much better than you, ya know. He was _nice._ Sweet, sweet kid. Kimiko always loved when you'd bring him around. He was always so helpful. She says to tell you not to stay away too long, you hear? You're always welcome here."

He wondered when his brother had gotten so good with words.


	11. Chapter 11

He watched the world change rapidly around him as humans advanced and their numbers swelled and consumed everything.

They were no threat to him, personally. He was too old and too powerful to ever be overwhelmed by them.

But they were a threat to his kind.

He convinced all the other youkai lords that it was for the best.

Inuyasha had been to that future place of that miko and had told him as much. There were no visible youkai, and no lords at all.

He handed over his birth right to a greedy man who already had too much and felt... free. Weightless. No longer bound to a life he'd not asked for yet done his very best to protect with honor.

But now, he was _free._


	12. Chapter 12

200 years later and Inuyasha was gone.

Kimiko followed, as her life was tied to his. Their children and grandchildren had gone before them all, having very little youkai blood left at all to sustain them.

His family was gone.

And he was alone.

His brother had gotten one last promise out of him with his last visit.

It had only grown more painful and awkward to go see him. His hair lost its silver sheen and grew dull and grey. His ears dropped and his skin wrinkled. He'd never seen a youkai grow so old, so fast.

But he went anyway. Who else did he have at this point?

"Keh. You still look almost the same."

"Hn."

"It's not long now."

He wasn't sure if Inuyasha meant his death or the miko's birth.

"I want you to tell her that I'm sorry. That I wanted to wait. That I loved her. That she fixed me. But I want you to tell her that I was happy, too. Okay?"

He met his brother's eyes and nodded once.

If he found her, he would tell her.

Inuyasha grabbed his hand and patted it. He had grown far less reserved with physical expressions of emotion in his old age.

He didn't mind.

Word came only a few moon cycles after that he'd passed in his sleep.

Sesshoumaru didn't leave his study for 3 days.

Another part of his heart died.

And he buried it away.


	13. Chapter 13

Antiques dealing was how he made a living now. And museum curating. He had kept his shiro and all the things in it. He sold things, he donated things. He set up his old ancestral home as a historical site and collected admission from tourists and historians alike. He added it all to the fortune he'd inherited after his father's death.

He got an apartment in the heart of Tokyo and tried to keep out of sight as well as he could. He could hide his markings well enough with his youki whenever he needed to verify the authenticity of something, but he couldn't do anything about his hair. So he chose to stay out of the way as much as possible so as to not draw too much attention to himself.

It worked well enough, and then one day it didn't.


	14. Chapter 14

"Sesshoumaru-Sama?"

A feminine voice trembled behind him in the coffee line at the little cafe near his apartment. He turned and raised a brow.

She was standing there with her coffee in hand, eyes round as saucers and pale as a ghost.

He was confused for a moment until her scent helped his brain supply him the knowledge that he knew her.

_'Ah. So I found her.'_

"Miko." He greeted simply.

She closed her mouth and gulped and he could smell the shock and fear and tenuous tendrils of hope in her scent. He marveled at her ability to feel so much at once.

"Oh! You remember me. I didn't think you... I mean, hi!"

"You still ramble when you are nervous, I see."

"Eh, heh... you remember that too?"

He wasn't sure _how_ he remembered such an inconsequential thing. She _had_ done so around him several times during their hunt for that half spider.

"Hn."

"Do you... want to sit with me?"

He should have said no. He did have a meeting to get too. But the echo of his losses pinged sharply off his heart and he thought it might be nice enough to talk to someone who'd been there, back then. Who'd known and lost his brother and so many others to time as he had.

So he inclined his head and followed her lead.

"You drink coffee? _Black_ coffee?"

"You are surprised?"

"I guess I just figured it would be too strong? Inuyasha always complained about things like that with his sensitive senses. And coffee _is_ pretty bitter."

"Hn. It is not so bad. And it works well with my human disguise."

"I noticed your markings are gone. I almost didn't recognize you. Are they hidden with something?"

"My youki."

"I see. You know, you're the first youkai I've encountered on this side of the well. Are they all gone?"

"We are out there, though we do not often venture into human cities."

She smiled and he could smell her relief.

So she'd been worried they all had died. She was a strange miko indeed to care about such a thing. She checked her watch and stood abruptly.

"Well I've got to get going. My next class starts soon. It was so nice to see you again Sesshoumaru-Sama."

She scribbled something on a napkin and slid it over.

"My number, in case you want to stay connected. We're still allies, right?"

Her gaze was hopeful, and though he wasn't sure he'd be calling her, he couldn't bring himself to tell her that. Besides, he had his brother's promise to remember.

"Hn. Allies."

She beamed and turned away, making her way from the cafe. He felt something slide into place and he ignored it.


	15. Chapter 15

The next time he saw her, surprisingly, was at a museum exhibit he'd been working on. She was standing in front of a display of swords and silks and scribbling furiously in a tattered notebook. He approached silently and she didn't sense him.

"Miko."

She leapt and tossed her pen and paper which fluttered to the ground between them. Her pen clattered to the floor and he could hear the rapid beating of her startled heart.

He raised a brow and an amused smirk just barely ghosted over his mouth though he was sure she'd see it.

"Sesshoumaru-Sama! Don't _do_ that! I didn't know the great dog lord played practical jokes." She huffed and bent to retrieve her things.

"Many things change if given enough time."

"Apparently! What are you doing in a museum? You're certainly old enough to belong in _this_ exhibit but I doubt you'd stand around and let people ogle you like an antique."

He narrowed his eyes at her distasteful joke about his age and gestured around him.

"These are my things. I curated this."

"Oh! That's amazing! You own _all_ of this?"

"Hn. They are from my ancestral home."

She took in everything with a much greater sense of reverence and then turned back to him.

"Show me?" She must have known there was a story attached to everything.

And so he did.


	16. Chapter 16

He did finally call her. His ancestral palace was opening up to the public for the fall season and he was personally inviting her. There were many places kept closed to the public she could see and write about. She was becoming a historian herself, unable to fully let go of the past, and he thought she might enjoy seeing _all_ of the history his home still offered. Plus, the more private locations would give him a place to speak to her of his brother and her other friends.

She accepted enthusiastically and her excitement lightened something in him just a little.

He ignored it and ended their call.


	17. Chapter 17

She was a rapt listener. She took in everything with wide, blue doe eyes and a near insatiable curiosity. She asked about the minutest of details and the most mundane of facts as if it all meant the same to her and perhaps it did.

It was nice to be sharing so much of his history and the history of his family, especially with someone who could truly appreciate it. Her sparkling smiles pleased him. He remembered how soft his brother had gotten with age. He supposed he'd gotten softer with age too.

He took her to the portrait hall to "introduce" her to his forefathers. Down the line they went and he gave her the name and legacy of each great inu of his line. He was proud and it showed. She was confused and he was concerned.

"You have a question?"

"I guess the stuff they did was nice but.. who _were_ they? What were they like? You know, when they _weren't_ being lords?"

He stopped short. He'd never considered such a thing. Being the Lord of the West was all there was for them. They were trained from birth to know the gravity of their station, and their need for strength to protect it. Strength of body, strength of mind, strength of heart. It consumed them completely. It had consumed _him_ completely, until it didn't anymore. What had he done for _him_ since he'd lost his title? Was he not still living to protect what scraps of that life he had left? Who was Sesshoumaru when he wasn't _The Lord_?

She moved on down the line, and he shared what information had been imparted to him as a pup. Until they got to the very last portrait.

It looked nothing like the rest of them. They'd gotten to the end of a string of silver and gold and here rested the crowned jewel of Emerald and sapphire. She looked at it curiously, tilting her head like a curious puppy.

"Who is _this_?"

He stared silently for a moment, taking in the features that were still too young. Normally a portrait was not hung on this wall until an heir succeeded the previous lord. But since his son had not lived to take up that mantle, he'd had the oldest portrait so far commissioned put here instead. He deserved a place in the line. He was the end of it, after all.

"My son."

"Oh! You have a son? I'd love to meet him."

Her sincerity made something in him constrict painfully. He would have loved for her to meet him.

"Had. I had a son."

Her small gasp drew his gaze to hers. Her eyes were sad and swamped with sympathy and he found it didn't rankle him like it might have at one time.

"Oh, Sesshoumaru-sama. I'm so sorry."

"Hn. It was indeed a tragedy. But time and life continue on."

She turned back to the portrait and smiled sadly, placing her hand on the portrait's gilded frame.

"Yeah. It does."

He knew she understood better than anyone.


	18. Chapter 18

They began regularly running in to each other at the coffee shop. And then regularly _meeting_ at the coffee shop. It was on both of their way to work or classes, and was an easy way to stay in touch and catch up. She asked him endless questions, but managed to keep things from getting too personal too often.

It was some time before she asked about his son again.

"So... how long has your son been gone?"

"It has been many, many years miko. He was very young."

"Can I ask how?"

"The miko and monks in my lands had begun to grow restless of being under youkai rule. It was his first venture out into the world alone, and they found and overwhelmed him."

He smelled salt and looked up from his coffee. Tears streamed down her cheeks which she wiped hastily away.

"I'm so sorry. That's just... it's so stupid. They had no right to do such a thing just because he was youkai. What was he like?"

He hadn't spoken about his son so candidly in centuries. He obliged her, and felt his heir's spirit. He would have liked Kagome, he was sure.

He felt a piece of his heart wake up and grow light.

He couldn't ignore it this time.


	19. Chapter 19

She was coming to his apartment. He had a particular relic he wanted to show her, a relic he refused to put on display anywhere else. He'd decided he'd put off this conversation long enough. It was just so _personal_ and, as much as he'd changed with time, personal could still be hard for him.

But she was here now, and it was time to get it over with.

She sat on his couch and he brought out two wrapped bundles.

She peeled back the silk cloth reverently, lightly running her hands over each item, tears gathering in her eyes and melancholy choking her scent.

"Inuyasha."

She whispered it with longing. His heart constricted. She sat tessaiga carefully aside and clutched the bright fire rat fur in one fist, bringing it up to her face. She closed her eyes and remembered and then peered up at him desperately.

"Tell me. _Everything."_

And so, finally, he did.


	20. Chapter 20

He stood at the bottom of the shrine steps, trying to decide if this was a terrible idea or not.

Kagome had lingered at his place for some time, asking questions and telling her own stories. He was able to form a more complete picture of his brother and for that he was grateful. She was able to close a chapter of her life and for that she was relieved.

Just before she made to leave, she'd invited _him_ over.

"Would you like to come over for dinner? I still live on my family shrine, and Mama knows I've reconnected with one of my friends from the past. She'd love to meet you! She's always been so curious about all of you."

He'd hesitated but accepted, and she'd left with a smile.

So here he was, now ascending the steps of the shrine that belonged to the former village of his brother.

He stopped at the tree he'd been pinned too, and ran his eyes over the scar left behind by an arrow through a heart.

Kagome called him into the house with a wave, and then there was who he presumed to be her mother.

She fluttered about him, remarking on his hair and eyes and the stripes on his face and pushed him to the kitchen to sit down. He had a steaming cup of tea and a plate of dumplings and he'd yet to even say a word.

Kagome giggled behind her hand and shrugged. Apparently her mother enjoyed playing the role of overly attentive host.

He sipped his tea while Kagome helped her mother finish dinner.

And he swears he tried not to eavesdrop, but with his amplified canine hearing, it's not like he even _needed_ to try. Their whispers were clear over the sound of running water and sizzling meat and he didn't have strain at all to hear every word.

"Oh my Kagome. He's much more handsome than you described. He's positively beautiful!"

"Mama hush! He can probably hear you! And of course he's beautiful, he's a youkai! I've never met an ugly one. Not a smart one, anyway."

"Well Yes, but he's especially pretty, isn't he?"

" _MAMA_. That's enough. Do I need to remind you about his hearing?"

"Oh you worry too much, dear. What's the harm in knowing you find him attractive?"

"MAMA! Dear gods. Please. This conversation is _over_."

The Higurashi Matriarch giggled and Sesshoumaru could smell the embarrassment coming off of Kagome all the way across the kitchen.

He prepared himself. This woman was obviously meddlesome, though well meaning. He had no doubts she had many prying questions.

"So, Sesshoumaru-Sama," she began, laying out food platters. Kagome stiffened in the chair next to him.

"Are you currently unattached?"

Kagome choked on her food and he suppressed a smirk.

"I am technically a widow, Higurashi-San, and never remarried."

"Oh how sad."

"Do not concern yourself. We had a political arrangement and nothing more. We knew very little about each other. It simply... was."

"Oh my. You read about such things in books, but to know someone who experienced it... it must have been very lonely."

" _Mother._ "

"It was not all bad. She was largely inoffensive, and was happy to keep to herself. I spent most of my free time with my son."

"Kagome told me a little about him. I'm so very sorry. I know my father-in-law mourned the loss of both his children until the day he died. It's unspeakable."

"Thank you, Higurashi-San."

"So, Kagome dear, did I mention that Hojo has been calling for you again? I told him I'd have you get in touch but, perhaps I should tell him you are currently unavailable?"

He caught Kagome's dead pan stare out of the corner of his eye, while her mother blinked innocently in response.

Despite himself, Sesshoumaru chuckled.


	21. Chapter 21

"I am _SO_ so sorry about her. She's very nosy and intrusive. I'm so sorry if she made you uncomfortable with all of her questions. I should have known this was a trap, she can be so-"

"Kagome, stop your rambling. It is natural for a parent to be interested and invested in their children's lives, and even try to influence them. You need not apologize for her further."

Her gaze was open and slightly vulnerable and Sesshoumaru took note of all of the lovely flecks of blue that carried each emotion she felt without fail.

"I suppose you're right. It is embarrassing though."

"There was no harm done."

"I have a question though."

"You may ask."

"I though demons took mates? You said you were married..."

"I was. Youkai only take a mate when they are certain they've found someone that they love. It is a very permanent type of binding. Political marriages are almost never matings. I held very little regard for the woman who birthed my heir. I would never have mated her."

"I see."

"Inuyasha took a mate though."

"Yes, I remember. I'm happy he was able to find someone to love so much. I do miss him though. I wish I could have met his family."

"He would have loved for you to meet them as well."

They stopped at the shrine steps and Kagome suddenly felt very awkward.

"I shall see you for coffee tomorrow?"

"Oh, Uh... yeah! Bright and early!"

He smirked and she blushed and he remembered all the "subtle" hints her mother tossed out all night. He reached forward and caught a piece of her hair that was sticking out in an odd loop. He ran his claw through it until it smoothed in with the rest of her hair.

Her face was aflame and he relished having the upper hand.

"Goodnight then."


	22. Chapter 22

"You work too much, ya know?"

He looked up from the newspaper he was reading through, circling listings in the classified ads for antique furniture that sounded promising. Kagome sat down across from him and broke her cookie in half, handing him a piece which he wrinkled his nose at.

"Do I?"

"Yes. What do you do for fun?"

"Fun?"

"YES. Fun! You know, that feeling when you're doing something just for the enjoyment of it?"

"I do not have _'fun.'_ "

"I noticed."

"Is there a point you are trying to make?"

"Yes! Let's go have some fun!"

He could just imagine what this woman found _fun_. He shuddered.

"No thanks."

"I wasn't asking Sesshoumaru-sama."

At his blank stare, she grew impatient.

"Oh come _OOOON!_ You can't tell me you wouldn't like to get out and do something that's _not_ important for once!"

He sat back and sighed. He _might_ like that, it's just that he'd never allowed himself such a thing.

"What did you have in mind?"

She clapped her hands under her chin and she beamed at him, though the maniacal twinkle in her eye gave him pause.

"Oh just you _wait_!"


	23. Chapter 23

A _theme park_ , he should have known.

She drug him inside and pushed him on the first ride they saw.

When his hair caused issues for the lady behind them, she forced him down on the seat of a picnic table, climbed up behind him, and knotted his hair up in the most undignified style he'd ever seen.

But before he could protest, she was dragging him away again and pushing him on another ride.

This continued for hours and he wondered when he was supposed to be having fun.

Then he saw they way her eyes screwed shut and nose scrunched up as she laughed the most melodic laugh he'd ever heard and he decided that perhaps he was having fun after all.


	24. Chapter 24

He wasn't sure what had come over him when he asked her to meet him at his apartment.

He wasn't sure what illness he'd caught when he'd led her to his car for a "surprise."

He was certain he'd never discover what spirit had possessed him when he'd transformed in the empty country side and leaned down to allow her to climb up onto his back.

Maybe it was her delighted peals of laughter still ringing in his ears that had him wanting to show her some _real_ fun. Something very, very few would ever get to experience anymore.

He flew low to the ground to remain unspotted. The scent of the earth, the clean air, and her bright, sparkling joy filled his nose. It wrapped around his heart. It set his spirit aflame.


	25. Chapter 25

The air had grown much, much cooler as the season wound down, and Sesshoumaru received a call that shocked him.

The former fox kit.

He'd lost track of the young kitsune centuries ago when he'd gone off to study at the kitsune inn and take his exams. He didn't know how often Shippo went back to his brother's village to visit, as he rarely went back himself. He'd been regretfully unable to tell Kagome anything about her favorite baby fox when he'd told her as much as he could about her former companions.

But now a unique opportunity presented itself, and at the memory of just how joy sparkled in a particular set of blue eyes, he once again he was unable to help himself and he made the arrangements.

The arrived at the shrine.

They knocked on the door.

The miko was adorably disheveled in a set of cutely patterned cotton pajamas.

She was an emotional mess.

The fox was overjoyed.

He nuzzled under her chin and she patted his hair and crooned sweetly and Sesshoumaru was startled to find himself fighting down burgeoning feelings of possessiveness.

A sharp emerald gaze and the scent of foxy amusement let him know that perhaps he'd been a bit blind of late.


	26. Chapter 26

You're such an oblivious baka." Shippo quipped as he rifled through a box of old poetry scrolls.

"Watch it fox." Sesshoumaru growled, trying to inject as much of his notorious venom into his words as possible.

He was answered with a harsh snort.

"Oh please. You wear sweater vests and non prescription glasses, Sesshoumaru. If you're trying to hold on to your former levels of intimidation, you've made the wrong fashion choices. _And_ career path." Shippo lifted a carefully folded stack of hand painted silks and cocked a brow. Sesshoumaru snatched them away and stored them with the rest of the antique art.

"And what, pray tell, would you have me do to remain both hidden from mortals and 'intimidating' to those around me?"

"I don't know. I mean I like this new you. Older, chill Sesshoumaru is actually pretty cool to talk too."

"Hn."

"When he talks anyway."

The fox got an empty crate to the head and no sympathy for his whining.


	27. Chapter 27

He pondered what Shippo had said for a while the next day.

Was he more relaxed? Or 'chill' as the kitsune had put it?

That had certainly not been an accurate descriptor for him in times passed, particularly when he'd first encountered his brother's rag tag group of friends.

He'd been vicious, prideful, vengeful.

He'd been hurt.

He could admit such things now. It was a perk of age, wisdom, and distance granted by the passage of time.

He'd simply been hurt. And a little jealous.

He'd been so young when his father had taken his human lover and fathered a hanyo. A child born out of _'love'_ instead of duty, who would hold a mere fraction of the responsibility Sesshoumaru had been saddled with from birth.

And then his father had died for this half sibling he never even knew and left his first son and heir to clean up a mess he was not old enough to deal with yet.

And a brother he was expected to care for and protect.

He'd been angry and had lashed out instead.

And since youkai aged much more slowly than humans or even hanyo, is was a stage of lashing out that had lasted much longer than any but another youkai would understand.

So, perhaps the kitsune was right, he was more relaxed now. By the time Naraku was slain he'd been able to lay much of his angst to rest, and he'd only settled himself more and more over the centuries.

If he was honest with himself, he suspected he'd always been naturally more mellow than he'd presented himself.

Being a lord didn't really afford one the opportunity to be 'laid-back.'

But then he wasn't a Lord anymore, was he?

His phone buzzed and he glanced at it, a wry expression settling on his features.

Shippo was with Kagome again.

And he was apparently sending him candid pictures of the girl she didn't know he was taking.

She certainly looked lovely in her light sweater the same shade as her eyes, with the breeze lifting the ends of her hair.

His phone buzzed again and an irritating image of the fox himself winking with a thumbs up took over the last picture.

He wracked his brain, but he couldn't remember any legends of foxes being matchmakers for _others._


	28. Chapter 28

"I've been working on her, you know. You're welcome."

Sesshoumaru sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

" _You_ are not welcome. Why are you here again?"

"Oh come on! It's not like you have any other friends."

"I have much to do."

"Not anything you _want_ to do."

"In any case, I do not need your help. With _anythin_ g."

" _OHHH YES_ you do! She's as clueless as you are!"

"Leave me fox, before your head leaves _you_."

Shippo stuck his tongue out childishly before planting himself in one of the large seats before Sesshoumaru's desk.

"Look all I'm saying is I can tell you're interested, and she has no idea you'd even be open to such a thing. You played a pretty hard game of "hate the human, hate the hanyo" back then. Obviously she knows you're different now, but you're gonna have to work hard if you want her to consider anything _more_."

"What makes you think I even want such a thing from her, foxling?"

Shippo's dead pan stare let him know exactly what he thought that statement.

But Sesshoumaru _invented_ the dead pan stare, he would not be out dead panned in his own office.

Shippo sighed and sat back, adopting a much more earnest expression.

"I'm not blind you know, I've seen how you look at her. You might not really realize it for yourself yet, so at least just think about it. I know how she felt about your brother despite all that _he_ put her through. She's got a big, wide open heart. You're _both_ lonely and a bit out of place. And I think you'd be good for each other."

"Being lonely together is hardly a firm foundation for any lifelong happiness."

"That's not what I meant. That's what got Inuyasha and Kikyo in all that mess in the first place. I just mean you two have a lot of understanding to build on. At the least you should grow your friendship."

He supposed he had much to ponder.


	29. Chapter 29

The fox was sneakier than he'd imagined.

But he couldn't really be too put out, as he _had_ organized a very similar surprise attack himself.

When he'd gotten a knock at his door he'd known by scent who it was immediately.

There stood Shippo, smile big and bright and smug, arm slung a bit too casually around a hesitant and embarrassed miko.

He'd stiffly stepped aside so they could enter, and she'd set down a box of supplies on his kitchen counter before approaching him slowly.

A small hand on his arm startled him, and the uncertainty shining up at him softened his uncomfortable stance.

"Sesshoumaru-sama? Is this... okay?"

He managed a small, sincere smile, something that even after all this time felt foreign to him.

But the way she beamed at him made him consider getting more acquainted with the gesture.

She bounced off to his kitchen, declaring she'd make the best oden any of them had ever tasted courtesy of her mother's recipe book.

And Sesshoumaru ignored Shippo's snickering at the way he simply stared after her.


	30. Chapter 30

Shippo becoming a more frequent fixture in his house _would_ have been an unwelcome development, but sometimes he brought Kagome.

And Sesshoumaru truly couldn't deny that she lightened the very air around her with her presence.

She laughed and smiled easily, and her eyes were open and expressive and though he knew well her bright, fiery temper that could switch on and off like a faucet she was largely gracious and considerate.

Her aura fairly sparkled and he was enchanted in a way he'd never been, and never thought he could be.

Especially not where this one particular woman was concerned.

He watched her for any clues as to her own feelings.

Sometimes she smelled embarrassed or nervous at proximity.

She had the same scent of attraction she'd always had. He suspected she just objectively found him as pretty as any other mortal would find a youkai of his stature.

She was mostly careful with him.

Careful not to get too close.

Careful not to make too much contact.

Careful not to pry.

There was a definite level of casualness as they'd spent many days talking already, but she still treated him like the anti-social demon he'd been years ago.

Which he was, mostly, but not quite so severely as she probably suspected.

He was not wholly encouraged.

Shippo seemed to think differently and frequently shooed him on behind her back. It was irritating and unhelpful.

Though perhaps not completely unfounded.

The next time she was over cooking for all of them, he decided to 'make a move.'

He leaned in close at her back, peaking into her cooking pot from over her shoulder.

"What is it you are making this time, Kagome?"

Her heart rate picked up and a delicate blush spread across her cheeks.

"Uh... um... it's a- SOUP! It's soup, heh! Nothing special I'm afraid."

He must have been closer than she realized, because when she turned to smile benignly at him, her nose brushed his and she squeaked a most undignified squeak before shuffling two steps to the side for room to breath.

Her face was bright red and her heart beat even faster and he had to suppress both his victorious smirk and his predatory instinct to pursue her where she'd retreated.

Instead he smiled softly and her eyes widened all the more.

"I'm sure it's wonderful. Let me know if you need anything."

"R-right."

He turned and exited his small kitchen and filed away everything that had just occurred.

Shippo nearly vibrated with mirth on his couch.


	31. Chapter 31

Because of the nature of the place, a place where humans, both local and tourist gathered regularly, they spent very little time at the Higurashi shrine.

However, that's where he was now.

Kagome had invited both he and Shippo to her families Christmas gathering. They'd embraced a lot of the western traditions and the miko's mother didn't want them to be alone.

The place was warm despite the weather, and welcoming and bright.

The smells of a variety of foods mixed in the air and the scent of joy tied them all together.

Shippo shouted to him from the kitchen behind a large plate of desserts and Kagome approached to greet him personally, wearing a soft blush and shy smile.

He felt his own face soften and wondered if he should be annoyed with himself and the affect this tiny human woman seemed to have on him.

"Oh! I... have something to show you.. I hope you don't mind." He was alarmed by her sudden change in sent, from shy to uncertain and a little fearful. He followed her to the large Christmas tree in her living room, confused as to why _this_ was causing her so much apprehension.

"It's just... well, since our father died, we made a sort of tradition to make a special ornament for passed loved ones." She pointed out each one: father, grandmother, aunt, grandfather, uncle, cousin. Most just a bit of ribbon decorated with beads and a wooden circle with a name engraved. She showed him his brother's, a silver ribbon with red and gold beads and a sword charm in place of the wooden name tag. It was fitting. She hesitated before pulling another out of her pocket and presenting it to him.

A silky black ribbon adorned with faceted glass beads in deep shades of emerald and sapphire. A small, silver square tag was tied to the bottom, the symbols for his son's name etched finely into it.

It was a simple, lovely tribute, wholly unexpected and even unnecessary. His son was so far removed from this group of people and he expected nothing from them except polite acknowledgement. But this sweet, beautiful woman in front of him had gone so far as to include his lost heir, his _child_ into a longstanding tribute of her own family.

And if her solitary scent all over the little ornament was any indication, she'd made this contribution solely with her own hand.

He was moved, and the scent of her rising horror and embarrassment told him he must of been staring longer than he realized.

He met her eyes, letting as much of himself and his emotions shine through them as he knew how. Her scent went cold and then confused and then awed.

He stepped closer, wrapped his arms around her, crushing her close.

She gasped in surprise and then returned his embrace.

"Thank you Kagome."

"You're welcome." She answered breathlessly.

He gave her the honor of placing the honorary bauble she'd made, and he caught her staring at him here and there out of the corner of his eye through dinner. He would periodically meet her gaze and give her a soft smile.

Her sweet blushes were each a reward.


	32. Chapter 32

He was leaning against the wall absently watching Shippo play some video game with Kagome's brother, but his true attention was turned to the conversation in the kitchen.

The miko and her mother were doing dishes, and much like the last time he was here, she was being needled by her mother in ways he was certain he was not supposed to hear.

But hear he did.

"You've been spending a lot of time with him."

"Oh no. Mama please don't..."

"I'm just saying Kagome, it appears you two have gotten closer."

"Maybe, Mama, but that doesn't mean-"

"And he seems awfully fond of you."

"Well I think we're friends now, and people tend to be fond of their-"

"And he's just so handsome."

"Mother. That _really_ doesn't-"

"And he seems much less sad."

He raised his brows at that, and wondered at Kagome's silence.

"He... what?"

"I could tell he was very sad and tired the first time I met him. He seems much less sad now. I think you've had an affect on him dear."

"But..."

" _And_ , I can see the way he looks at you."

He narrowed his eyes at her snort of amusement.

"Oh please Mama. Sesshoumaru-sama would _never_ feel anything like that for a _human_. He's probably just happy to have a friend. I don't know."

Her mother chuckled knowingly.

"Never say never dear."

Silently, he made a decision.


	33. Chapter 33

It was late.

Shippo had passed out sprawled on their couch snoring more like a bull frog than a fox, and Sota was putting away his game to head to his own bed.

Kagome's eyes were growing heavy as well, and he decided that now was the time to clear a few things up.

She seemed surprised to see his open hand in her line of vision.

"Will you walk with me?"

"Of course."

He helped her with her coat and then held the door open for her, following her out into the chilled night air.

They walked in silence until they reached the torii arch and then he turned to her, taking in her sweet, upturned face lit with moonlight and questions.

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a long, rectangular box, presenting it too her without comment.

She took it with a furrowed brow and confused smile, opening it and gasping.

Inside, on a small swath of red silk, was the kotodama that had connected her to his brother five centuries ago.

She lifted the necklace from the box, tears filling her eyes as she took in each purple bead and fang. She brought them to her heart and her lids fluttered closed before snapping open again as his lips met her cheek.

"She's right."

She didn't have to speak to communicate her confusion.

"I _am_ less sad."

Her eyes widened and her cheeks reddened again.

"Goodnight, Kagome."

He turned to leave, hoping his message had been received.

They each had a complicated past, some shared, a lot separate. But they shared an understanding, and they could, perhaps, share a future.


	34. Chapter 34

"You smooth bastard."

A deep, weary sigh escaped him.

"What do you want now?"

"I'm just here to congratulate you. And confess that I am shocked. I didn't know you had it in you!"

A dry stare, cracked knuckles and glowing claws were, unfortunately, not enough to persuade the current bane of his existence to shut it and leave.

He simply laughed, slapped him on the back and took to digging through the fridge.

"She told us _everything_ the next morning. She was _shocked_. And in true Kagome fashion she's got her head firmly in the sand as to what you _reall_ y meant."

He supposed he should have anticipated this, though he thought he'd been quite clear.

"She is confused?"

"I'd say more like... _willfully obtuse_."

"But not opposed."

" _Definitely_ not."

"Hn."


	35. Chapter 35

They met for coffee as usual.

She seemed a bit jumpy and unsure.

She had a report she wanted him to check on the history of some item or another.

He caught her hand with his before taking the paper from her.

He met her eyes firmly when she stared at him in question.

She blushed.

He smirked.


	36. Chapter 36

"We should go to dinner."

"We... we what?"

"Dinner. You and I. We should go."

"Um... was there something you needed to discuss, Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"Yes, but it can be taken care of now."

"Oh?"

"I would like to take you out."

"I-"

"On a _date_."


	37. Chapter 37

She'd been thoroughly shocked.

But he'd been convinced that she would not take any subtle hints.

He had to be upfront.

It had worked.

She had been very shy as she accepted his offer, but she _had_ accepted, and that was the important thing.

So here he stood on the steps to her front door, her mother flashing a camera in his face and his eyes trying desperately to clear themselves so he could see her. 

She looked radiant in her simple black dress and her hair swept up off her shoulders.

She held held the crook of his elbow as he escorted her to his car, babbling apologies about her embarrassing mother.

"You look lovely, Kagome."

She stuttered out a sweet thanks, and he wondered if someone could blush so much they permanently dyed their cheeks red.


	38. Chapter 38

He took her out often, though rarely to as nice a dining establishment as their first night out had been. He knew she'd been uncomfortable there, and he wanted her to be as relaxed as possible in order to really start opening up to him.

Many times he took her to historical districts so they could 'go back in time.' She loved those the best.

Sometimes she turned the tables and took him somewhere of her choosing.

He loved those the best.

Silently, secretly, they each toyed with the lingering thought that maybe, perhaps, they simply loved _each other_ the best.


	39. Chapter 39

"Don't be dense Kagome, I know you're smarter than that."

"Shut it, Shippo. It's just too wild and you know it."

"And why is it so wild?"

"Because it's... _him_. And I'm just _me_!"

"And?"

"And? And why would he want to tie his life to _me_ like that?"

"Because you're the best Kagome."

"Thanks Shippo. That's sweet. But..."

"Look Kagome, all I'm saying is you should start thinking about if it's something you'd be okay with. Because, youkai to human, I can see it heading there."

"Whatever you say, Shippo, whatever you say."


	40. Chapter 40

"So I mentioned it to her."

"And?"

"She just doesn't believe you'd want that. Not with her at least."

"And did you disabuse her of such a ridiculous notion?"

"I tried, but she's stubborn, okay?"

"Where does she presume I'm going with this if not _there_?"

"I don't know. Marriage? Maybe even just companionship?"

"But then she would die. Is that what she wants?"

"I think she thinks that's what _you_ want."

"Hn."

"I told you Sesshy-kun, you're gonna have to work _hard_ if you want her to _know_."

A bright green bolt streaked across the room and the stench of singed fur filled the air.

"Do not call me that."

"Gotcha"


	41. Chapter 41

"Where are we going this time?"

"It is a surprise."

"Hmmph."

"Do not pout, Kagome, I rarely leave you in the dark. Try to be patient and enjoy the ride for once."

"Fine. Jerk."

They pulled up to his ancestral home and she once more stood in awe.

The gardens were being open and tended with the arrival of spring, and he figured he'd show her some of the trees and fountains that had been around through the ages.

He'd even arranged a lunch outside.

She delighted in the softly colored flowers bursting from bushes and trees and counted all the song birds as he led her to a secluded area off in a far corner.

Flowering bushes of every color enclosed them in and she spun to take it all in.

"Oh Sesshoumaru-sama... it's perfect!"

She stopped to meet his eyes and thank him for a wonderful day, but she lost all words when he gently cradled her face.

"Just Sesshoumaru, Kagome."

She nodded, spellbound, and he lowered his face to hers. He left a soft kiss on her mouth, butterflies in her stomach, and fuzz in her head.

"Oh."

He chuckled and kissed her again.


	42. Chapter 42

They walked back through the palace before Kagome stopped abruptly.

"Is there a bathroom nearby?"

"Yes. It is down that hallway."

"Thanks!"

He watched her bound away and wondered at her nervous energy.

She returned, grabbed his hand with a secret smile, and walked out with him with her head on his arm.


	43. Chapter 43

It was the beginning of summer when he decided he needed to spell out his full intentions.

She was cautious, and too modest to be presumptuous.

So he'd just have to be blunt.

She was sitting on a small bench in front of the Goshinboku.

The scar from his brother's imprisonment was obvious in the bark above her head.

He thought it was a fitting place.

He brought her a single bloom. It was a brightly colored flower that had been one of Rin's favorites.

He knelt in front of her and she waited expectantly for him to speak.

"I believe I am in love with you, Kagome."

She smiled tremulously, silvery tears leaving wet marks on her cheeks. She hiccuped out a little laugh.

"I love you too."

"I wish to make you mine."

"Alright."

"In all ways."

"Yes."

"Forever."

And then it dawned on her that Shippo was right and she had never needed to worry and that an eternity of security and happiness now stretched out before her.

Sesshoumaru soon found his arms full of a weeping Kagome, but she scented only of happiness.

To the other youkai nose watching secretly from a nearby window, so did he.


	44. Chapter 44

They had a fall wedding. Her mother had fussed over every detail and he'd stuffed checks into vendor hands when she wasn't looking.

He dusted off his rarely worn tux and secured his hair back.

It would be a small wedding at the shrine, close and intimate, but it would be beautiful.

He would not be wearing them, but he brought both of his fathers swords to the room in the Higurashi shrine that he was using to dress in.

He supposed it made him feel close to his own family who had long since preceded him to the after life.

He picked up tenseiga.

He put aside all his remaining angst toward his father and promised to make him proud.

He picked up tessaiga. As the only remaining son of the great dog general it no longer rejected him.

He thought of his brother and all the things he wished he'd said in all those long ago meetings. He promised to protect that which was now so special to both of them. He swore she would be cherished.

He could smell the scent of fox approaching, and at the knock on his door he knew Shippo was there to collect him.

He opened the door and recognized tessaiga instantly.

"I think he hoped this would happen."

"What?"

"We never visited at the same time, but I went back to see him often. He mentioned a few times that he'd made you promise to find her and give her a message."

"Which I did."

"Yup. He also said he wouldn't be surprised if you ended up as enchanted with her as everyone else ever was."

He furrowed his brow and made to protest that his brother would never have wanted him to steal his miko away.

"He was very happy with Kimiko, you know. He knew he was releasing her to her own happiness when he decided to take a mate. When he was very old, and watching his words less, he even told me he hoped you did see how wonderful Kagome was. That maybe you wouldn't be alone forever. I don't think he worried that way for Kagome, she makes friends wherever. But you? He worried about you."

He simply stared, not sure what to say. Unsure he'd be able to speak if he tried.

"Oh! We're supposed to be going!"


	45. Chapter 45

He met her under the spreading boughs of the ancient god tree.

She was radiant.

Her mother cried.

He'd never felt such contentment.

He thought of how much strife he caused in his younger years and thanked Kami they'd handed him such an open, forgiving heart in the form of the woman pledging herself to him forever.


	46. Chapter 46

She was happy.

She was sad.

They were moving her things from her childhood home to the new home they'd share together.

She was worried for her aging mother, though her brother had firmly assured her he was more than capable of caring for the shrine, now.

She was excited for this new start.

She was a mess.

Sesshoumaru laced his fingers with hers and squeezed, reassuring her she was not making these steps alone.

She sniffled and smiled up at him, and he drove them on to their new home.


	47. Chapter 47

He came home from the office to see that she'd been busy.

She'd unpacked and decorated and left some things organized and some things haphazardly tossed here and there.

She was currently in the hallway grumbling over something not laying straight when she noticed he'd come home.

"Oh no! It's not finished yet!"

"What is not finished?"

She sighed and slumped forward, eyes downcast and arms crossed petulantly.

"Your surprise. It _just_ came in today and I wanted to get it all put up and it's just _not_ doing what I _want_!"

He glanced over at the wall and stopped short at what he found.

She'd no doubt spent the last several hours in this hallway trying to artfully arrange all the things that now covered the wall that had been empty when he'd left this morning.

But it was one item in particular, just off to the left of the arrangement, that drew his attention.

"When did you do this?"

"Remember when you took me to see your garden, and I had to go to the bathroom? Well, I didn't go to the bathroom. I took pictures and commissioned this... I hope you don't mind.. I just thought we should have a picture of him here."

He, in fact, did not mind. He was touched and speechless.

There, on the new wall of his new home with his new wife and mate, was a much much smaller, much simpler replica of the last official portrait of his first son.

It had none of the gold and silver foil and was not enclosed in a lacquered, gilded frame. It was simply painted directly on a plain canvas and hung on the wall amid a myriad of other seemingly mundane snapshots of their life. Their wedding portrait was in the center, and there were several other photos of them together in various places. One of Shippo and Souta hugging the Higurashi Matriarch in their own wedding finery. A humorous shot of the Inutachi looking concerned and confused at standing for a "picture" in front of the "camera."

And there, looking like it fully belonged, was the much simpler portrait of his son.

She'd taken the only tangible, visible thread of his memory and woven it seamlessly into the greater tapestry of their life.

He pulled her to him and wrapped her tightly in his arms, feeling closer to crying than he had in centuries.

"It's perfect."

Perhaps ironically, perhaps not, it was _that_ moment he noticed a subtle shift in her scent.

He pushed her back, smiling widely with his heart in his eyes, confusing her thoroughly.

"Sesshoumaru? What's... what's wrong?"

He laughed out loud in his joy and swooped her up. He spun her once and placed her gently back on her feet before falling to his knees and burying his nose in her belly just to be sure.

And he was.

And he was so deliriously happy.

Realization swamped her.

And then so was she.


	48. Chapter 48

He looked like his mother.

His eyes were large and expressive and his smile was easy and soft.

But- his hair shone silver, and his gaze was golden and Sesshoumaru was pleased.

His fuzzy puppy ears gave away his hanyo heritage, but the violet moon on his brow gave away his royal lineage.

Oh yes, Sesshoumaru was pleased.

He was sensitive and mischievous but he listened to every last lesson he was taught with a grave intensity that left Kagome hard pressed not to call him her 'Chibi Sessh.'

Sesshoumaru found that less amusing.

He was told all about his late uncle who would have got him into so much trouble and his older brother who would have been thrilled to have him.

Kagome's mother had been near catatonic with excitement since they'd told her, and at her first site of twitching silver ears she'd burst out into happy sobs and had taken every opportunity she could hold and spoil the boy.

Sesshoumaru felt that his favorite part of all, however, was watching his mate dote on their pup in a way he and his first son had never experienced. They'd both had cold, distant, uninterested mothers, but _this_ pup would know full well what it was to be loved by _both_ parents.

It was balm to many parts of his heart that still prickled from time to time.

Kagome met his eyes from the nursery doorway over their son's sleeping, silver head, his bed time story still open on her lap. She smiled softly at him, and he crossed the room to relieve her of her increasingly heavy burden. He laid his pup down and tucked him in, then helped his heavily pregnant mate to stand and shuffle out of the room to their own bed.

This life was not what they'd imagined.

It was an unexpected gift after great strife and loss.

But they were happy.

And he was thankful.

And so was she.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! Thank you so much to everyone who read along and left comments and Kudos! Every single one meant the world!


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